Hell on Earth

I walked through Hell last weekend. From a distance you wouldn't have any idea that it was Hell, it actually looked beautiful. Placed right on the ocean surrounded by blue water and palm trees...it could have been paradise, but no it was definitely Hell. One foot inside the walls silenced every laugh, stole every smile, and happiness was no longer possible. It smelled of mold, it felt cold and sticky, it tasted like salt. I walked around exploring the windowless rooms and chambers, until I finally came into the middle of the courtyard again...where a church was placed, broken and stained. I continued exploring and found another church located on the top floor overlooking a courtyard that held hundreds of women captive. Directly across from this particular church a man would stand and choose a woman to rape, and continued to rape her until the point of death. Hell on Earth was all that I could think.
Last weekend we visited slave castles. The one above was Elmina Castle. I am still processing and digesting much of what I heard and saw. To learn about slavery in the States is second rate compared to standing in the middle of a slave castle hearing the tour guide's voice quiver with emotion about the history and lives of the African slaves. I am having a hard time understanding how humanity hit such a low point, when did we decide to dehumanize another person? When did we stop recognizing another person, a brother or sister? When did we start placing people in order of importance and value? How can we even place a set value on a person? Even more I'm struck by how much we still dehumanize people. Slavery still continues today in our world, some say it is even worse than it was during the Atlantic Slave Trade...
Last weekend has left me with more questions than answers. I don't know if these are answerable questions, I don't think they are even questions people really like to talk about because we start to recognize our own ways of dehumanizing another. We all do it, even when we think we are not racist or biased, we still are.
For me this has become the first step in healing. I am forcing myself to face my racism and stereotypes. That might have been the hardest thing to admit and even more to write and know that you are reading it. I can't keep it inside if I want to heal, you have to know too and know that we all have it in us...just look at yourself. Our Government claims that we are all equal, but society tells a different story. So here I am asking God for guidance and healing. I don't want to be racist, but its so deeply rooted in American society it is impossible to excape. The only way I can see a change is if it starts with me frist. So here I am today, admitting that I am racist, and begging God to cleanse me of this evil. Pray for me.